A Year In Review…

Here we are at the end of 2012 and it seemed to me that it is time to reflect a bit on what has transpired over the past year. My life has certainly seen its share of changes. It hasn’t been an easy year for me. It has had its good points but there have been a lot of bad points as well.

I haven’t posted about one major thing until now. Mainly because I didn’t want to traumatize a certain teenage girl who may, or may not, follow this blog. Seeing as we’ve discussed it, I feel like I can finally speak about the fact that my six year marriage is over. It is all a matter of legal formality at this point but, the fact is, it is time to move on. And it is definitely time for me to look forward to better things and nothing holding me back from achieving my goals.

On the first day of the new year, I am going to spend my time writing and working on the biggest project of my career. I am feeling particularly optimistic today and have every reason to look forward to amazing things in 2013.

I do have a few resolutions to continue for this year but these are ongoing goals for me that have been in place for a few years now. The only thing that I am adding to my list is to make a more concerted effort to do things that make me happy and just be myself. I’ve spent too long in a bubble and I am looking forward to friends, family, new possibilities and success this year. I wish the same for all of you who read this little corner of the web.

Without further rambling from me today I give you the end of the year review meme.

What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

Several things actually.

1. I voted for the first time officially in a presidential election. 2. I got serious about my health. Not just my weight but my over all health. Working on it is ongoing since I still have a lot of weight to lose and am working on getting my stamina back with exercise but, I made huge strides this year. 3. I stood up for myself in a relationship and said that something wasn’t okay. I suppose you could call that being assertive. 4. I finally realized that I have to stop trying to please everyone else and try to do more things that make me happy just because they actually make me happy and not because everyone else thinks they do.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I am going to be honest, life has been so hectic and full of change that I don’t even remember if I made any resolutions aside from losing weight and getting healthier. And yes, I have kept those two. They’re ongoing and will be a part of my 2013 resolutions. I’m sure that I will add others to my resolution list before the end of the year as well.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Nope. No newborns this year around me. Maybe next year though from what I hear. I can hope anyway, I love being around babies. Nothing cures the depression like a baby’s laughter.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Close to me? No. But we did have a tragedy in the family in the beginning of December. While I didn’t meet her personally. Her stepdad is more like a second brother than my cousin. My heart and prayers went out to them.

5. What countries did you visit?

I did good to make the trip to Florida this year. But it was fun. Maybe another country next year. I’d like to do a cruise maybe.

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

Less stress. Seriously the last year has been so chock full of stress. I’m ready to just get on with living happy and healthy in 2013. More fun, less stress, and better people around me for a change.

7. What dates from 2012 will be forever etched in your memory?

October 5th unfortunately. The end of my marriage and the most devastating emotional trauma I’ve experienced to date. As much as I want to just forget it, it will always be there.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?.
Biggest? Publishing my book and finally getting myself on the path to a writing career instead of feeling like I’m just playing around at it. I made big strides this year in submitting and publishing my own work that I’m proud of and will continue to work on.
9. What was your biggest failure?

Not seeing the signs of pending end of said marriage and acting sooner. Hindsight is perfect though.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No major injuries aside from developing a case of Plantar Fasciaitis but, I did have to deal with severe allergies up until mid October. Now, I’m off the medication and doing pretty awesome. I’m even losing weight again which is an awesome thing.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My laptop. Portability is the bomb, baby. Seriously it was a good buy because my desktop model went out a couple weeks after we got Atreyu. So, I was really excited that I was able to have a replacement to work on. I would be dead in the water without my laptop.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Mine actually. I finally learned that it is okay to say no to something. And, because of that, I learned to stand up for myself and say that someone else’s behavior toward me and our relationship wasn’t acceptable. I took back my self-respect, started loving who I am again, and I’m a lot happier because of it. So, yes, strike a victory for independence and self-esteem.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

My ex-husband’s. I’m not even going to relate the details of it here. Just suffice it to say there are a few reasons that he is now the ex.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Someone else’s bad habits. That won’t happen again, EVER.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

My book coming out. The sales and feedback were a boost. I also got really, really, really, excited meeting someone new and realizing that there is life again after such a bad thing happening.

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?

Shake It Out by Florence + The Machines

Pretty much summed up the whole year for me. Had to shake off a lot of demons in order to rediscover myself and live again.

17. Compared to this time last year are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier
ii. thinner or fatter? Definitely thinner! I’ve lost at least 60lbs though the doctors say it is likely closer to 100 based on measurements. So, we just have to keep working at it.
iii. richer or poorer? By money, I’m going to say Richer. I actually have more money in my bank account now than I did with the Ex. Still broke, but, I’m richer with my sanity, my family, new friends, new prospective relationships, and richer in how I feel about myself. Those things count much more than the numbers in my bank account.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I’d had more fun and laughed more. Life is too short to not enjoy it. I mean, you have to deal with the necessary evils of life but, you also need to just enjoy the little things. Way too little of this in recent years.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying and stressing over things. Cleaning up other people’s messes.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

With family and new people in my life.

21. Did you fall in love in 2012?

Um, pleading the fifth on this one to see what happens and how things work out. I met someone new that I really enjoy spending time with and talking to. It may turn into more but, after the break up, I’m taking it slow.

22. How many one-night stands?
None, I’m just not a one night stand sort of girl.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Criminal Minds and I rediscovered Star Trek: The Next Generation on a Thanksgiving marathon on BBC America. LOL It was like seeing it for the first time all over again. And yes, I still just love Jean Luc Picard and have a celebrity crush on Jonathan Frakes.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don’t hate people. I may dislike their actions, their choices, or the way things turned out but I try hard not to let all that turn to hate. Hate is something that requires effort, if I don’t like something the last thing I want to do is spend energy on it.

25. What was the best book you read?
Best in Fiction – Under The Dome by Stephen King and I’m in the process of reading The Wolf Gift by Anne Rice which is good thus far.

In Non-Fiction – Finding Water by Julia Cameron a continuation of The Artist’s Way which is, in my opinion an essential journey for anyone with a hint of creative spirit.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Hands Down it has to be Florence + The Machines. Shake It Out and The Dog Days Are Over are anthems from this year for me.

27. What did you want and get?
My book published and yep, I made it happen. 🙂 Now I just want people to buy it and read it.

28. What did you want and not get?
A family of my own, more pointedly a child of my own. But hey, its not out of the question yet, not giving up hope on having my own family someday. But, I didn’t get it this year and the fact that I wanted that caused a lot of problems. But, hey, maybe that was just God’s way of telling me things were over and it was time to move on.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?

Dark Shadows was hilarious. Silent Hill Revelations was visually awesome. I didn’t get to see Magic Mike (darnit) but, I have to say that I was impressed with The Avengers. So, I have to call it my favorite of the ones I’ve seen this year.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 34. I actually had a pretty quiet birthday this year. Stayed home, looked at the snow, and just vegged out with the TV thinking mostly. Got a little melancholy but my little brother and Charles managed to cheer me up and everything was good again.

31. What one thing would have made your year more satisfying?

To have this divorce process over with so that I can just move on with my life without it all hanging over my head. I don’t like being in limbo. I just want to get on with things and live again.

32. How would you describe your fashion concept in 2012?

Whatever fit. Seriously, when you manage to end up as heavy as I am, fashion is no longer a concept but a matter of what fits. This is changing. 2013 will have a fashion concept that is sexy, fun, elegant, and makes me feel good instead of just being something to cover up with.

33. What kept you sane?

My family and at times my cat. I don’t know where I would be without my family right now honestly. I thank God for giving me the most awesome family in the world.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I have to admit it. I have a fangirl crush on Josh Gates.

36. What is one thing you would go back and re-do if you could?

I would go back to when my marriage fell apart and be properly pissed off instead of hurt by what transpired.

37. Who was the best new person you met?

Charles, hands down, best thing to come into my life in a while. Don’t know where it is going but, I’m definitely enjoying the ride and just being me and laughing and well generally happy again.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.

I’ve learned that it is often the people I care most about who hurt me the most. At some point though, you have to realize that things end for a reason and pick up the pieces and move on. Life does go on and generally there are better things on the horizon so, trust God’s plan and stop fighting for something someone else doesn’t want with you. It never works unless you’re both fighting for the same thing.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

And its hard to dance with the devil on your back so shake him off. (and yes, in case you’re wondering, I did shake him off)

 

The NanoWrimo Challenge: Accepted

I posted before about taking part in NanoWrimo. The past few weeks have been full of preparations for the frenzy of noveling that is about to take place. I will likely not get to attend the kick off party on Thursday over in Tyler. Temperatures and transportation are the big hurdle to overcome. But, I will be hunkered down working here in my room. And trust me, right now, I need the distraction that this challenge provides. I was a winner last year and I am definitely aiming for a repeat performance.

So, if you don’t know what NanoWrimo is; let me run it down for you.  It is a no-holds-barred writing frenzy that happens every November all over the world. It isn’t just for adults either. The Office of Letters and Light are hard at work bringing creative writing to classrooms everywhere. It is a superb cause, in my humble opinion, and I urge you to take a look at their site and consider making a small donation to their efforts. On November 1st, writers everywhere take to their laptops, offices, or pick up their pens and notebooks to complete a novel-length work (50,000 words) in just 30 days.

To accomplish this, certain things must happen for the writer.

• 1. They must abandon the inner editor and critic. This is not about creating a perfect novel. This is about getting the word count on the page no matter how unbearably dull parts of it may seem. You can edit it later.
• 2. They must have time to write. Uninterrupted time is an absolute God-send during the month of November for a participant.
• 3. They must leave their sanity on the floor and succumb to the idea their muse has been dangling before them.
• 4. They must take on the challenge with the intention of giving it a best effort.

In addition to this participants who want to take full advantage of the experience can sign up at the website and affiliate with a region to meet other writers in their area. Doing so will likely expose them to Nano-related events in their area like the kick-off and Thank God It’s Over parties. There are also write-ins that are typically held as well. Considering that writing is such a solitary thing to do, these social events are actually quite nice to have available.

There are other things that are useful to do before the event starts. For example, I have my plot outlines mostly completed ( I’ll be working on those more today). I have my list of characters and sketches that I’ve written to get a feel for them and the setting. Giving the office or writing space a good cleaning and organizing all the extras is a big thing. Getting all those notes together in one place is ideal. And then, of course there are preparing the elements of a NanoWrimo Survival Kit.

Everyone’s kit is different. So, I’ll give you an example of what is in my kit this year:

• Atreyu (my HP laptop)
• Scrivener (My personal favorite writing software.)
• Spotify with a new Nanowrimo playlist along with all my other lists
• Inspirational Books & Images
• My mascot – Lolli (my pink flamingo pen given to me by my precious niece Natabee last Christmas)
• My tub of pens in various colors
• Plenty of loose leaf paper
• A notebook for on the go
• My three ring binder (for keeping it all together)
• My post it notes cube
• My Do Not Disturb: Creative Genius Hard At Work sign to put on the door
• My reading glasses
• Headphones

And of course aside from the tangible stuff above, there is a plethora of writing fuel that will need to be purchased over the course of the month

• Diet Dr. Pepper
• Tootsie Pops
• Hershey Kisses
• Iced Tea
• Hot Tea
• Coffee
• Pretzels
• Popcorn
• Easy meals

I’m all set to do a sprint at midnight tonight to kick things off. A trip to the store is in order tomorrow to pick up the rest of the provisions for a couple weeks. Then, it is buckle down and get the words out. I’m even thinking of shooting for 70,000 instead of the standard 50,000.

For now, I will leave you all with a favorite song of mine lately. Hoping that I get to go and see them live at some point in the next year. As I understand it, they are based in Dallas and that is not such a far trek for a weekend if the circumstances are right.

Currents….

Right now, there is so much going on that I don’t know what to post that would be of any consequence to anyone. So, I thought that I would just give a little update on things in my world in the form of a list. So, welcome to the Currents List.

Currently I am ….

Reading: The Wolf Gift by Anne Rice

So, far, so good. I’m intrigued by the main character and this house. Of course, it has made me miss the foggy mornings in San Francisco the same way Mrs. Rice made me want to visit New Orleans and walk through the French Quarter late at night. I’m looking forward to continuing to read when I have time.

Watching : Tonight is Destination Truth and they are hunting vampires in Transylvania and Romania. So, we’re looking forward to that at our house. We’re big Josh Gates fans here.  He’s always entertaining.

Listening To: 80’s music. Yep, I’m cheesy. I know it and a don’t care. I’ve had fun with the kid playing cards and listening to the tunes. Though, I’m getting on a classical kick when I’m writing.

Excited About: The dress for Heather & Levi’s wedding. It arrived today. I get to go and pick it up tonight when hubs gets home. I haven’t had a new dress in a while. Thursday is a big day but I am actually more apprehensive about that for various reasons. I’ll make a post about it afterwards but, right now I just need to keep focused on something else.

Working On: A new project that I am going to keep under wraps for a while. But, I’m excited about being able to say that I am inspired again.